Thing don’t work

I have been finding myself in situations more and more often, where simple things, things that have worked in the past, do not function, or behave properly, and thus, make me angry. I then try to think of what could be causing this, so I try to fix, or tweak a bunch of stuff, and then it still doesn’t work, so I get so furious, I start smashing shit, yelling, or being just overall angry, and then it just magically works.

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What to do when you feel you need to talk to someone, but you don’t trust anyone, and those you do happen to trust, you have either worn their patience too thin, or you don’t want to wear them down with your constant blithering? When you have a problem, no one really cares, or wants to help. How could they, when they don’t understand, and I am unable to communicate how and what is going on in my head, or body? My mind turns to mush, dark, hazy muddy feelings cloud my brain, and make it hard to think, or be happy.

Oh, how I became unfit for human consumption, and even to be around others.

The amount of anger

I do not know how to express the amount of anger, and rage in my chest for no reason. I’m sure there is a reason, but I don’t know how to bring it to light, or put words to it, or express it.

I feel as though, I shouldn’t be here. I should be 100 years in the future, or 200 years in the past. I’m not cut for this crap. Even then, I’m sure I’d say the same thing at either of those time periods. Maybe, I’ll divulge myself later on here.